Writing An Emotional Will: For Those You Love and For You
In Steve Leder's book "For You When I Am Gone," the concept of an "emotional will" is presented as a powerful tool for introspection and connection. An emotional will is all about sharing your values, wisdom, and love with those who will survive you. Essentially, it is a record you create of what you stand for and what you want to pass on to your loved ones, emotionally and spiritually.
Leder tackles the weighty subject of mortality and legacy, offering a guide for how to leave meaningful tokens of love, wisdom, and values. The book aims to help people face their mortality directly and consider what they want to pass on beyond material possessions. It introduces the idea of creating an "emotional will," a collection of personalized messages, life lessons, and values to offer guidance and comfort to family and friends after one's death.
Contemplating the end of life is not a morbid exercise but rather one that brings clarity to the present moment. Leder writes that you can better understand how you should live your life right now by considering what you want to be remembered for. This insight leads to enriching current relationships and experiences. Throughout the book, Leder provides practical advice, including writing letters to loved ones, taking emotional inventory, and capturing ethical and moral values to pass down. The goal is not just to come to terms with mortality but to make the most out of the time one has left.
The act of writing and maintaining an emotional will allows you to explore complex emotions and thoughts through writing. This process can help with emotional clarity, as you have to begin to think about what matters to you. While an emotional will is written for those you love, it simultaneously benefits you by helping you identify and articulate your thoughts, feelings, and values.
Creating an emotional will isn't a one-time event but an ongoing process. You may start by jotting down your core values, important life lessons, and special memories that you want to share. Some people include personal letters addressed to loved ones, capturing their feelings, hopes, and wishes for each individual. Others may include ethical wills and documents that spell out the moral and social values you want to pass down. You can also add tokens or objects that hold sentimental value, creating a multi-dimensional emotional legacy. An emotional will can be started today at any age. It’s meant to benefit those you love, help you craft your own narrative, and build awareness of how you are currently and want to live your life.
Introspection and Self-Awareness
The process of creating an emotional will requires deep introspection. In doing so, you can examine your life from a broader perspective, contemplating what has been truly meaningful thus far. This exercise can clarify your values and beliefs, providing a renewed focus for your actions and decisions. It also lets you view what you have valued thus far and make changes as you move forward. This isn’t a static document- it is evolving. It is your journey, and you are recording it as it occurs with lessons, hardships, change, and growth.
Another benefit of writing an emotional will can be that it leads to a greater sense of self-validation. By writing down your experiences, wisdom, and values, you're affirming their importance. This can lift your self-esteem and remind you of your own accomplishments. Through the very act of writing this legacy for others, you are recognizing the significance of your life journey and the lessons you've learned along the way.